Suicide

So, I want to kill myself sometimes.

But it's not because I'm sad. I mean, how do I know that? I have chronic depression. I have no idea what it's like to not have a black veil over the world. Maybe it is because I'm sad.

But I just had this thought: what am I even living for? I have no plans, no goals, no life. What's the point of me taking up the space right now? There isn't one, so why continue?

That's a serious question. Please always give me reasons. Constantly.

But apply them to me. I know people would be sad. I know people would miss me, or anyone who is depending on me would be hurt. However, as awful as it sounds, that just doesn't matter to me at this moment. 

And that's how my depression works. Sometimes I get so low that I don't even consider my connections to people to be of any value. 

It's rough. I'll probably be fine in the morning. I always am. But Lordy McBuddah, are these feelings heavy. 

Anyway. Cherish your sanity.