Long

How long can I hold in the tears?
I let them build on the edge
Of my eyelids.
I let them threaten to fall
Down my cheeks.
I feel them burn my eyes
With their salt.
But how long can I keep them there?

How long did I imaging he would stay?
I let him suffer alone
With abrasion.
I let him question me
Without answering.
I gave him so much space
And he walked away.
But how long did I think he would stay?

How long has it taken me to be fine?
I grew in jolts
Against brick walls.
I hurt myself worse
Then he ever could.
I turned aside comfort
For the sake of nostalgia.
How long has it taken me to be fine?